Barstool Condolences Pt.6

As he sat there on the corner of the bed, his mind was empty.

He knew there was plenty to be thinking about - that a lot had transpired in the last couple hours. Things he had never thought would be possible.

He was sure he had lost her forever. Gone. Somewhere in the sea of people that populated the planet. Yet by some stroke of luck or serendipity, last night happened.

The sun was beginning to crest in the sky - that awkward period when the body wasn't ready to be woken, but the birds made it impossible to just roll over and fall back into a dream. They had spent the night chatting at the bar, leaning closer to one another as the night wore on. Not because the the music at the bar was getting louder, or that each drink made their speech a little less audible. Because of gravity.

There was no denying that it was still there.

Just siting next to her, he felt the energy from her body, as it graced his. It made him nervous. Sweaty. Gave him goosebumps. Yet, through it all, his core was at peace. As calm as it had been in a long time. His brain was over analyzing, brooding and storming like a dark nor'easter battering a coast. His heart knew to remain calm, like a lake in the early hours of he morning, before the world began to stir, when the water was as smooth as glass, rippleless. Pure.

They had just talked. Caught up with one another. Friends on their own journeys, reunited to share life lessons. He offered to walk her home and she reciprocated with inviting him in. He wasn't expecting much, anything to protect him from venturing out into the cold alone.

When they walked in, he was surprised that the apartment was empty. He had noticed the ring on her finger. Yet, there was no other car in the driveway, no extra set of keys hanging on the hooks by the door. It was just them. And as much as he loved that thought, it angered him. They had discussed the encounter with her partner during dinner. The scene he caused in the resturaunt. How he had made a fool of her, embarrassed her, abused her.

When he heard he had raised his hand to her, things changed. Deep within him, something broke loose. A thing that he hadn't know existed - waiting to be released. Pleading for it. It wanted to protect her. To pummel him into the ground, leave him as the shell of a man he was - in pieces. It wanted to break him.

Hearing her in the bathroom did not help. He could easily make out her sobs and noise of her ring as it slid off her finger and began bouncing on the porcelain of the sink - lost and frantically looking for a digit to anchor itself on. He just wanted to burst in, pick her up and hold her close. Tell her that it would be ok. They were all that mattered. Embrace her. Let her empty her soul. He'd listen. He was there for her.

But thats when he heard it. The squeak of the bottom stairs that led up to the apartment. Heavy, unbalanced, inebriated footsteps began climbing their way to the door. He swore he could already smell the alcohol, seeping in and infecting the apartment.

She must have heard it too, because she had stopped sobbing and the bathroom door was now open. Theirs eyes met for just a split second and within that second, he could register the fear in her.

He looked away quickly, for he didn't want her to see the fire that was glowing behind his eyes, deep, and churning. Both hands were already clenched into fists.

That thing, deep within him was rising and he knew he wouldn't be able to control it.