Chapter Three: How's It Taste? Like Dirt

When we first pulled up to Ravenswood Winery in Sonoma Valley, CA, I was nervous. Not because I don't enjoy drinking. Not because I enjoy how obnoxiously giggly I get when wine drunk. Not because I didn't know the first thing about wine.

No - I was nervous because I was supposed to meet my travel buddy's best friend from Spain. Sure not a lot of pressure. Easy right? Who was I to them other than a friend's college acquaintance.

But, I had literally just crawled out of the woods. I was sweaty, going on four days without a shower, still in camping clothing, had dirt shoved so far underneath my nails, and had gone more than a week without shaving (which, if you don't know me, is the point at which I begin to look like I'm a member of the jihad, especially when you throw on some aviator glasses). So all I could picture was me, walking into this nice winery, mangy, dirty, and smelly.

Great first impression.

Thank god we had a moment to primp ourselves in the parkinglot. And by we, I mean me. I doused myself in cologne and deodorant, threw on some pants, and prayed for the best.

Now, there is one thing I've noticed about my close friends, that makes them stand out amongst all my other friends. They have this knack of surrounding themselves with the most amazing people. From the moment I met Chelsea, I just felt her warmth radiate through me. I only got to spend three days with her, but she has got to be one of the most genuine, down to Earth, fun-loving, happy people I've ever met. I wish I could name a time, other than when she was asleep that she didn't have a smile of her face from ear to ear. It wasn't one of those "post braces, I have to show all my teeth" smiles either - it was the real, from the depth of my heart smiles that could light up a room, causing you to smile back.

And from there, my example continues, for we met Chelsea's college roommate, Marie, who was as equally amazing. Its just staggering to know wonderful people gravitate towards one another. You never really have to worry about hitting a bad group, unless, of course, you're the asshole.

But, I digress. So, back to the wine? I mentioned above I know jack squat about wine. I know I know. I spent four years in the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York and never went wine tasting. Say what!? I dropped the ball. Hard.

I never knew there were so many! Syrah, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Malbec, Pinot Noir, Zinfandel, Sangiovese, Barbera, Chardonnay, Cuvee, Dessert wines, ugh, my head was spinning! But, let's not beat around the bush. I enjoy wine. I know I do. I enjoy white zinfandel (thanks Mom - one guy at a winery actually laughed at me for that reference) and these are the real wines (no offense). So, what did I do? Read the descriptions, following the instructions of swirling the glass to appreciate the legs of each wine. I sniffed, breathing deep into my lungs, swirled some more, then took a sip - making sure, of course, to swish lightly in my mouth before swallowing. Hmmm what do I taste? Leather? Tobacco? Raspberry? Passion fruit? Chocolate?

Let's be real here. It tastes like wine. Yeah - fermented grapes. Do I pick up on some of that other stuff? Sure, of course I do, but it's all subjective, since the dirt in which the grapes are planted determine all the flavors. And I'm pretty sure none of those items listed above are in said dirt. But again, I digress.

I learned two things from wine tasting. I like the wine. I don't like the wine. And to be completely honest, between the 6+ wineries we went to, and the 25+ wines I tried...I liked every single one. Red or white. It was really a treat. Go ahead. Call me a drunk. Ok, do me a favor, at least call me a wino.

So when we got back home (don't worry - we didn't go to all the wineries in one day - especially when I was driving that first day) - I walked into Chelsea's beautiful home, in which we were staying, and was greeted by two of the most wonderful dogs I've met in recent memory, Max and Roxy.

These two were a stitch. They were father and daughter, and had a strange habit of humping each other throughout the yard and yes, I'm that immature. Every single time I saw it, I just burst out laughing. Sexual as they were with one another, they really were fantastic dogs that would follow you around all day, sit at your feet, ask for your attention, and love you unconditionally. Growing up, my dog never played fetch. Totally gave off the "You expect me to chase that?" vibe. Now, she'd wrestle with you, and nearly take your fingers off in the process, but the act of throwing something, only to have a dog immediately bring it back is foreign to me. So, I took advantage of it and played with Max and Roxy every possible moment. I'll miss those two and their grimy little tennis ball.

So what did we do in Sonoma other than drink wine? I'm glad you asked. Our first night we ate some bomb pizza and went to a winery (duh) to watch Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window on an inflatable projector outside. Good thing we brought a lot of blankets, because Sonoma gets cold. But it was a hoot, being snuggled up with everyone. The whole evening was wonderful. I was a little skeptical to be the only film geek among a group at such an old film, but all of them loved it. I could visibly see them getting tense as the neighbor broke into Jimmy Stewarts apartment and hear them exhale when he is saved. It was a relief to know the classics are still relevant even today.

The next day we went wine tasting and did most of the damage, stopping at three wineries. But, much like my description(s) of the others, we drank wine, giggled obnoxiously next to those "more serious wine tasters" next to us, got drunk, and enjoyed each other's company. It was great seeing Paige and Chelsea interact - two friends from across the world reunited in California. The energy the two of them bring into a room when they are together is refreshing, truly something to behold. I was lucky to be a part of their dynamic duo, even if for such a short period of time.

                                     Thanks for showing us a great time Chelsea!


It was super sad when we had to leave because Sonoma is one of those towns you just instantly fall in love with. The fields of grapes stretch out before you - row upon row. A rolling sea of green. Downtown was quant yet full of life. Upbeat and modern yet at the same time carrying with it a vintage vibe. Everyone we ran into had a smile of their face. The air was clean, the sun was hot, the wine flowed.

I'm really glad that I experienced Sonoma with the group I did. For this being my first time truly wine tasting, it was perfect.

***Editors Note:  I don't think wine tastes like dirt as the title suggests (long inside story with my mother haha). And I do taste some of their suggested aromas...but leather or tar? Come on now.***