Super Powers

Damn - wouldn't it be awesome to have super powers? Seriously, stop and think about it.

Everyone knows my loves of Spider Man, the 50+ actions figures (they're not fucking dolls), the stacks of comics, books full of trading cards, the spandex costume. Hell, if I could be anyone, it'd be him (fantasy speaking of course, otherwise I'd b Grohl, but that's another story).

But, what if you had a power. One singular, little power - what would yours be?

Would you conform? Would you want to fly? Become invisible? Have stretchy arms, be able to burst into flames, read peoples' minds?

I mean, realistically any power is possible, especially if you leave it up to your imagination. I thought about it today at work and I think I figured out the power I would want. Now, I know it's a little out on left field, but work with me, I think you'll eventually warm up to it...

If I could choose one power and only one, well, I would want to have the ability to turn my pee into gasoline.

Yeah, you read that right. You're eyes haven't deceived you, I said it, and I know it sounds weird as shit - simply because it is.

I won't defend it. Well, ok, maybe I will.

Think about it - endless gas! No more $3.44 a gallon. No more wallet pains as you fill up your tank. Go home, chug some water, wait....BOOM instant gas. I guess not exactly instant, but pretty quick I should say. You could even monopolize it - make some dough on the side. Drinking water costs $0.00 but you could sell it for even $2 a gallon and you'd still be making bank. Would it require you to drink a lot of water...well yeah, but that's besides the point.

For all you hippies out there too - guess what? It's extremely sustainable! Yay for trees.

If you felt ambitious enough, you could attempt to fight crime. And I said attempt since I think if you tried to pee on a bank robber than light it - there is a good chance you'd be shot by the time you shook, zipped up, and struck the match. I'm just playing the odds though. Maybe you'd be fast enough. Who knows.

What if you don't want to use your powers for good? Hell, become a super villain! It would depend n the size of your bladder, but corner the oil/gasoline market! Undersell them out of business! Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (evil laugh).

To be honest, when it comes to super powers, I'm not picky. I'd take just about anything. One power I wouldn't want to have though? Super strength. People would always be asking for you to help them pick stuff up. That's got to be why the Hulk is always so pissed off all the time - everyone just asks him to help them move.

God, what a shit life that would be.