According to the English dictionary, a friend is: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who is on good terms with another.
Would you agree with this?
I suppose you would. It is straight forward and to the point.
I remember one distinct evening, in the summer, after coming back home from college, I had a discussion with my mother. At the time, I was a little distraught and annoyed because I could not get in contact with my old high school friends. We had always caught up during the summers. Yet, for some reason, that summer was different. No one seemed eager to reunite.
That's when my mother gave me one of the most important pieces of advice she has ever offered me. She simply said, "high school is when you form some of your first friends, while college is where you make friends that will last a lifetime. This is the time where you will meet the people that will matter most to you."
To this day, that advice has always stuck in the back of my mind. But, to be completely honest, I never really had to opportunity to witness said advice first hand.
Not until two weeks ago.
Throughout school, I had a friend. Someone that I met from literally day one, at orientation. Right off the bat, I knew it would be something special. At the time, I didn't know what it was really or why I had this notion.
Fast forward six years and I now know what that feeling was. I don't know if it'll ever happen again for me with anyone else - but I had the opportunity to reunite with one of my best friends from school and travel throughout the state of California.
Whats so special about this?
After school, I almost immediately moved to Los Angeles and she moved to Spain. Other than the occasional Skype talk, we hadn't seen each other for over two years.
When I first saw her again two weeks ago, I knew exactly what my mother was talking about that one summer night. Nothing had changed. We picked up exactly where things had left off. There was no awkward "hi," no awkward beats or moments. It was if those two years apart hadn't occured. Life had continued, but somehow, our friendship had been suspended, ready to continue at any moment, and luckily for me, it began again.
So back to what is a friend. Do I agree with the definition? Sure. On some primal level.
What is a friend to me? Well, thats another story.
I need to be able to laugh with my friends. Full out, stomach hurts, tears forming at the corner of the eyes laughing. You bring this to me. I can't remember the last time, I laughed as hard, as often, as long as I have over the past three weeks. But more importantly, a friend teaches you how to laugh at yourself. If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer that you'd like.
They need to be able to bring joy to your life. I'm not going to lie - LA has been tough. Work is tough, the life style is tough, everyone I care about is back on the East Coast - as much as I push through with a smile, I was breaking down. This trip re-energized me. Got my head straight. Reminded me that with a simple conversation, some thrown together plans, and a plane ticket, I can be right back with the people that matter most. I can't remember the last time I've been to happy, carefree, or relaxed.
You have to just be able to get along. This part is real simple. I don't have to try with you. I just exist when I'm around you. I say what I want, do what I want, think what I want. There are no barriers, no walls. Of course there used to be, but you've helped me get over them and rip them down. You've gotten me out of my shell, helped me realize it's important to just live life and not sweat the small stuff.
A friend is the type of person that at any moment, I can call, text, or write, and know they'll be on the other end. I know you're there, regardless of the time zones.
Most importantly though, a friend is constantly teaching you things. About life, yourself, the world. Always helping you grow. And thats what you've done most for me. Opened my eyes to so many new things. New places, people, experiences, thoughts. I'm forever grateful.
So what does this all mean? Now that the trip is over?
Absolutely nothing. Because our friendship will once again suspend itself and allow life to let us grow and mature. Ready to pick up where we left off at the next opportunity.
Before when I left school, I thought I would lose these people that mattered most in my life and saying goodbye this time, I was scared for a moment, because the same feeling came back over me, but I realized it had no place in my mind. This trip proved that. Life always continues and along the way you find your friends, ready to hop on the trail with you. I had assumed this would be somewhere near the middle of my journey, but it is clear that this is only the middle of the beginning.
I was lucky enough to cross paths with someone recently and experience a chunk of their life with them and them with me. Will it happen again in the future? Who knows. I hope so, but at least I now know that if it does, it'll be as easy as it ever was.
I heard another quote today, that rang true to me, "friends are those who you chose to become part of your family."
So, welcome to my family - I'm glad you're a part of it.
Thanks for all the memories thus far.
Here's to many many more.
